


What the Spirits Did

by Philomela



Series: It's a Spirit Run World [2]
Category: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Mpreg, One Shot, séance gone wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 00:06:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21261842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Philomela/pseuds/Philomela
Summary: Anita rolled her eyes. Compared to what she did on a daily basis, this would be a lot easier. She didn't even have to actually do anything, just stand there and hold hands. How could she possibly mess this up?Spoiler: she can and she does.





	What the Spirits Did

** \- I -**

Anita stared at the other man; he looked relatively normal in his jeans and too-large sweater, his small face dwarfed by the thick framed glasses magnifying his too-green eyes.

“You do know that I raise the dead, right?” He peered at her, amusement twisting his lips as he chuckled.

“I’m aware. This client, though, is a bit against that practice. She would like to speak to her husband, without bringing him back as a zombie.”

She scowled, taking offense to the slight against her occupation. She was an animator, it’s what she did. She didn't ask for this, or go looking for it, it was just dropped in her lap like everything else in her life.

“Now, I don’t believe you have ever participated in a séance, so I need you to follow my instructions carefully...”

Anita rolled her eyes. Compared to what she did on a daily basis, this would be a lot easier. She didn't even have to actually do anything, just stand there and hold hands. How could she possibly mess this up?

**\- II -**

“In my defense, I had no idea that this would happen.”

What had they expected of her? She was a professional survivor — and killer — ‘shoot first, think later’ was her life philosophy. So, when she sees a zombie start lifting itself from a grave, of course she was going to grab her gun and shoot the damn thing.

Who knew it would disrupt the seance, cause some complications and result in Harry getting knocked up by a spirit? In what universe would that be an expected outcome?

‘_This one apparently_,’ she thought, glancing at the man sitting across from her, cradling his very pregnant belly. He had to be pretty far along, too far along for her to feel comfortable about an abortion — too far along for it to even be legal to get an abortion.

“It’s okay. I'm used to weird things happening to me.” He looked too calm.

“What, like getting knocked up by a spirit?” Jason was looking at Harry as if he was crazy, which would normally cheer Anita up but she wasn’t able to enjoy it at the moment and that pissed her off.

“No, I can truthfully say that this is the first time that's happened,” he said cheerfully.

“Je suis trés desolée. I am sure ma petite did not mean to cause this,” Jean-Claude stated, his face the perfect expression of remorse.

“Nah, it’s alright. I don’t blame her.”

“Is there anything that we can do...” He trailed off, a slightly uncomfortable expression lurking within his eyes as he extended the open-ended favor.

“No, it’s quite alright. I’ll be fine taking care of this myself for right now. I could probably use some babysitters later on, but that’s for a future discussion.”

They all watched as Harry struggled up from his seat, waving off the hand that Jason had offered, and exited the room with a very slight waddle visible in his movements.

**\- III -**

“Oh, Harry, only you,” Luna sighed, reaching out a hand to card through his hair.

“Yes, yes, I know. I’ve come to terms with my penchant for odd situations. As far as things go though, this isn’t too bad.” He shrugged, closing his eyes and enjoying the attention.

“You did let the department know, right? I wouldn’t advise any channelings until after the delivery.”

“Already taken care of. Gave me maternity leave,” Harry chuckled, remembering the awkward conversation and the disbelieving looks he had received from his boss.

“Good, good. Did you schedule an appointment with a healer?”

“Ah, not yet. I was hoping you could help me with that, actually. I’ll need someone magical, obviously, and someone who won’t care for my name. Experience with male pregnancies would probably also be nice.”

“Hmm, I think I have someone in mind.”

**\- IV -**

“Harry!” He looked up just in time to catch the body that had flung itself at him. His arms wrapped around her waist from force of habit more than conscious thought.

“Hermione? What are you doing here?”

“Luna contacted me. I came over as soon as I heard!" She pulled back from the hug to give him a once over.

"What, why?"

"Because I'm a healer, you idiot! Or did you already forget?" Harry flushed red in embarrassment as he thought back on their fireside chats regarding work (on Harry's end) and school (Hermione). She had mentioned that she had been studying for her healer's training license and Harry knew that he had filed away that piece of information as he did with all the important information regarding his friends and family — it had just slipped his mind at the moment.

"No, I remember now. I just blanked for a second," He apologized with a sheepish look, pulling Hermione back into a hug to make up for his less than enthusiastic greeting seconds before.

"I'm glad you're here to look after me. Luna couldn't have picked a better person," Harry said earnestly.

"I know," Hermione said, expression deadpan, before her facade cracked and she dissolved into giggles.

"Did you tell Charlie?" She asked. Harry simply cocked an eyebrow in response.

"He's on the next international portkey over. I also roped Luna into helping me pick up his present, so hopefully I'll get that before he arrives."

"Dare I even ask?"

Harry mulled over that for a minute, causing Hermione to break out into a sweat at the thought of what her crazy friend had bought for his dragontamer boyfriend.

"I think it's best that you don't."

**\- V -**

While Harry had claimed maternity leave from Animators Inc, he was still capable of seeing his private clients. Today, Anita had learned that he met these clients in the parlor room of his manor — which was also news to Anita: that the crazy crack-pot psychic had, not a house or an apartment or a cabin in the woods, but a fucking manor.

The second thing she learned was that he was gay.

"Thank you for coming over! I really needed the help today," Harry said, smiling as he waddled on ahead, Anita following closely behind with Micah and Nathaniel flanking her on either side. They had all extended offers to help him during the (admittedly short) pregnancy, considering it had come about because of Anita's actions (though she still would only admit to it in a round-about way, and was still stubborn about accepting the blame). Harry had brushed off their offers at first, but it seemed that something had come up that he needed their assistance with.

"Charlie!" If possible, Harry started waddling even faster, his cheeks staining a light pink from the exertion and his breath coming out a litter harder and faster, as he caught sight of a broad-shouldered, heavily freckled red-head spread out atop a rug on the living room floor. The man — Charlie — quickly sat up and caught Harry before he could hurt himself.

"This is Anita," Harry said after he had caught his breath. "She works at my company. And that's Micah and Nathaniel," he continued, introducing the group. Then he lowered his voice to a stage whisper to explain, "they're part of her harem." Charlie nodded his head in greeting, expression not giving away any of his feelings on that piece of information.

Anita had opened her mouth, intending to say something back but her breath caught in her throat as her eyes finally registered the creature that Charlie had been playing with just moments earlier. She had originally written it off as a large lizard — _maybe he liked iguanas?_ — and closer up she would still say that it was some sort of large lizard, but a large lizard with fucking wings.

Harry caught her staring and began beaming in pride as he moved to explain the situation.

"Oh! This is Sally. She's a pygmy dragon —very rare, and hard to find, but I managed to get her as a welcoming present for Charlie here. Did I mention that Charlie's a dragon handler? He used to work up at the Romanian Dragon Reserve before."

As if hearing her name, Sally the fucking pygmy dragon flapped her wings until she began lazily hovering in the air. She flew over to Anita (Anita could feel her hand twitch, ready to grab one of the guns hidden on her person in case the fucking flying snake tried to attack her), slithering a tongue in her direction before circling around Nathaniel and Micah's heads. Satisfied with what she found, Sally turned around and returned to her owners, perching on Charlie's shoulder. Content, she gave a loud snort, smoke and fire flaring from her scaly nostrils and a few feet in front of her.

Sally was a fucking fire breathing pygmy dragon. Dragons fucking existed.

**\- VI -**

Harry draped his body over Charlie's hunched back as well as he could with his heavily pregnant stomach jutting out in front of him like a beach ball. Charlie jokingly pretended to collapse under the weight of his boyfriend with an exaggerated groan of pain.

"Ugh, can you imagine if I had to carry these menaces for nine whole months?" Harry whined. "I have no idea how women do it. This pregnancy will only last a single month, but I'm so over it already."

"Menaces? Plural?" Charlie asked, eyebrow cocked, as he unfolded himself into a standing position, before gathering Harry into his arms for the hug he was obviously angling for.

"What, did you think I ballooned this much just from a single kid?" Harry asked, snorting in disbelief as he tucked his head under Charlie's chin and rested an ear over his heart. "Oh no, sir, there are twins tumbling around in here."

"Oh no! Not twins!" Charlie gasped in pseudo-horror before chuckling as he nuzzled Harry's hair. "You've been very grouchy lately. What happened to my happy-go-lucky psychic?"

"The same as whatever happened to my goddamn bladder. Now go feed the thestrals before they riot."

**\- VII -**

"Anita! You made it!" Harry shouted from his seat where he was surrounded by a mob of red heads. "And you brought your harem!" As soon as the word had left his mouth, a hand reached out to gently whack him upside the head before scolding him for his '_word choice around children_'.

Anita had indeed shown up to Potter's manor (a fucking manor - she would never let this go) with Jean-Claude, Asher, Richard, Jason, Micah and Nathaniel. She supposed people weren't exactly wrong when they call them her harem, though she much preferred to use the term 'entourage'.

But that wasn't the most pressing matter at the moment. No, the utter chaos of the room was much more important.

There were serving trays floating midair and small children zooming around on what looked to be miniature broomsticks; some weird dog-like creature with a forked tail was yapping and chasing the pygmy dragon (Sally), while a very ugly feline was yowling as another group of children chased it (they were carrying ribbons and hair brushes in their hands); there was a raucous card game taking place in one corner, with loud explosions randomly going off every so often; in another corner, one man had bellowed in shock before turning into a small yellow bird and now was angrily flapping his wings, attempting to peck at a laughing man that had a passing resemblance to Harry's boyfriend.

Anita and her entourage carefully picked their way through the room — dodging flailing limbs and ducking underneath silver tea trays — finally stopping before the man they were here to see.

"I thought this was a baby shower?" Anita asked, as she warily eyed her coworker who was now snuggling into Charlie's side, one large freckled arm wrapped as far around his distended stomach as was possible.

"That's how it started. But then Charlie proposed, and Fred and George got all emotional when we asked them to be the twins' godfathers, and then someone found the good Firewhisky and now here we are." Harry looked comfortable and very pleased at the mayhem occurring around him.

They all looked up as a shout sounded from the center of the room and found that Sally had accidentally (or purposefully, as Anita suspected from the smug look on the lizards face) set someone's robe hem on fire. After some colorful cursing, and much gesticulating, someone pulled out a slender length of wood and somehow doused the flames that had started climbing higher up the unfortunate man's legs.

Anita had thought that that had signaled the end of the crisis, but was quickly proven wrong.

That day, she learned that Weasley's could always be counted on to make every event memorable and that Harry seemed to feed off the chaotic energy that surrounded them (like some weird trickster-variant Incubus).

**\- VIII -**

"Hermione," Harry gritted out through clenched teeth, "I'm really going to need you to get these brats out of me ASAP."

"Oh, Harry," she sighed. "Why don't you take some deep breaths for me?" Harry had opened his mouth to tell her just where she could shove her '_deep breaths_' when Charlie decided to make himself useful and slip his tongue between his parted lips. While Charlie kept Harry occupied, Hermione turned back to her pile of notes and frantically read through them for the third time that day. She went through the wand movements required to perform the surgical spells one last time before turning back to face her best friend.

She had just caught the widening of his green eyes, the way he rounded his lips into an 'O' of shock, and let out a hiss of air and then saw that she needn't have gone through the stress of preparing to perform a magical cesarean.

With a sigh and a shake of her head, she instead moved to clamp and cut the umbilical cords, whispering a spell to vanish the placenta and the make-shift womb that Harry's body had created for him this month.

"OK, did anyone else see my twins pull a fucking Kitty Pryde and just phase through my stomach?" Harry asked incredulously, looking from Charlie to Hermione for support as he tried to gain proof that he had really seen what he thought he had seen and was not just experiencing some sort of hallucination.

"Language," Hermione chided absently as she waved her wand over the newborns to clean them up before summoning the baby blankets waiting off to the side and swaddling the babies into cute little human-ghost burritos.

As the new parents bent over to observe their children, one of the twins let out a soft sneeze before promptly vanishing from sight.

Harry looked up at Charlie with wide frantic eyes. "I can still feel him. He's just invisible." It took a second, but then the weight of the words finally sank in.

"Oh, fuck."

Hermione couldn't bring herself to scold them, she was too busy laughing herself to tears.

**Author's Note:**

> Just one more part and then I'm all done with this series. Thanks for sticking around during the 7 year hiatus :)


End file.
